"Way Better Than Doing Stuff At Work"
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Category: Business             Rating: 2.00
  • Blamestorming
    • Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
  • Body Nazis
    • Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
  • Seagull Manager
    • A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, messes on everything and then leaves.
  • Chainsaw Consultant
    • An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
  • Cube Farm
    • An office filled with cubicles.
  • Idea Hamsters
    • People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
  • Mouse Potato
    • The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
  • Prairie Dogging
    • When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to seewhat's going on.
  • SITCOMs
    • What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
  • Squirt the Bird
    • To transmit a signal to a satellite.
  • Starter Marriage
    • A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
  • Stress Puppy
    • A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
  • Swiped Out
    • An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
  • Tourists
    • People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."
  • Treeware
    • Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
  • Xerox Subsidy
    • Euphemism for swiping free photocopies fromone's workplace.
  • Going Postal
    • Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
  • Alpha Geek
    • The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.
  • Assmosis
    • The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
  • Chips and Salsa
    • Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa."
  • Flight Risk
    • Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
  • GOOD job
    • A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
  • Irritainment
    • Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
  • Percussive Maintenance
    • The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
  • Uninstalled
    • Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a Vice President at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
  • Vulcan Nerve Pinch
    • The taxing hand positions required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.



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